I pulled into the garage yesterday morning after dropping my older daughter off at school, and I sat in my car. The rain pounded outside, and my younger daughter was waiting to start her school day inside. But I sat there, desperate for just a few minutes to myself.
Last week, I shared with you the victories in our year of homeschooling. Today, I'm telling you that it has its moments of desperation as well. My younger daughter and I have spent more time together this year than we have since she was 4. Overall, it's been a blessing. But there are moments when I crave just a moment to myself. Just a moment to sit and not have anyone ask for anything. Just a moment to gather my thoughts. Just a moment to write an email or edit an article uninterrupted. Just a moment to go for a walk or have some quiet time with God.
Yesterday, I wanted that moment so badly that I simply sat in my car, wishing that the school year was over. I sat there and longed for a vacation filled with books to read and other people to cook the meals.
As the school year winds down, I find I'm the mom with the short temper and the less-than-stellar lesson plans. The endless cycle of soccer practices and games and hockey practices and tournaments continues on. It's a merry-go-round that won't stop, and every now and then, I'm dizzy, and I want to get off.
Every mom has seasons where they feel like that, seasons where just getting through the day takes all the energy she can muster. We all have days where just looking at the calendar makes us want to crawl back in bed. We all have moments when it's just too much.
When those moments hit, take a break. Hide in your car. Go in the bathroom and lock the door. Sit outside on the front step for a minute. And just take a moment.
Take a moment to ask God for the strength to make it through -- because when we're at the end of our strength, He has more than enough to spare.
Take a moment to take a deep breath and remember what you love about this motherhood journey. List off all the reasons you love your kids.
Take a moment to close your eyes and clear your head. Lay your weariness and frustration at the foot of the cross and let Jesus bear it for you.
And after you've had that moment, you'll return to the everyday life of motherhood. You'll change diapers, wipe tears, negotiate with a teenager and pray for your kids' safety when they take the car. You'll be the dispenser of money, the head chef, and the maid. You'll be the complaint department, the chauffeur and the bedtime story reader.
But you'll have had a moment, a moment to remind you that your kids are a blessing. A moment to reorder all of those thoughts and frustrations. A moment to lean on God's strength instead of your own.
And when you fall into bed tonight at the end of another day, you'll remember that this motherhood thing is a gift. You'll remember that even though your kids have pushed every button you have today that you were chosen to be their mom. You'll remember that God's strength is sufficient for the moment.
So, take a moment today.