I sat on my front porch the other day, looked at the sky and prayed this prayer: "Lord, can I have one easy day? Please?"
I'd been trying to navigate through the waters of a kid recovering from surgery while dealing with some other drama in her life and dealing with the other child who can't seem to get organized enough to do the things she needs to do at school. Let's not forget the everyday drama that just exists when you have 14-year-old and 12-year-old daughters.
I sat on that porch after meting out discipline to one of them and wondered when parenting had gotten so hard. I love being my kids' mom. It's a calling. I love them more than life itself. But right now, I really don't like parenting.
It. Is. Hard.
Every single day is a constant struggle with one child or the other. There have been more tears shed in this house in the past month than at any time since they were crying babies. My husband is ready to move to Tahiti and come back when they're 21. I'll be honest. I am not enjoying it. I really want just one easy day.
I want one day where everyone does their homework without a fight. I want one day where friends act like friends. I want one day where everyone fills out their planner at school and knows exactly what they need to do when they get home. I want one day where no one forgets anything, no one has to stay after school and no one needs my help with math homework (I really didn't like geometry when I was the student). I want one day without drama and without tears (theirs or mine).
I prayed that prayer for one easy day a week ago. And I still haven't gotten it. But God has reminded me that he didn't promise that this parenting thing would be sunshine and roses. He didn't say this life would be easy. He did say He would be here. He did say that He would never leave us.
Because, you see, God isn't interested in my comfort. He isn't interested in me having an easy life. He's interested in making me more like Him. He's interested in growing me and my kids. He's interested in forcing me to rely on Him instead of myself.
I could list off for you the lessons we've learned in this household this summer. I could tell you how much my older daughter has grown in her faith and her approach to life. I could tell you how much more of a priority it is for me to have a consistent time of Bible reading and prayer in my life. The evidence of growth in this particular season is everywhere in our family. But there have been very few easy days.
Because growing is hard. When our bodies grow, we tend to sleep more and require more food because growing is work. That holds true for spiritual growth as well. When we die to our selfish nature and become more like Christ, there are growing pains. And there are few easy days.
When we get on the other side of this intense growing season in our family, we'll be able to look back at everything that happened and know that those hard days were worth it. Right now, though, we're simply clinging to the knowledge that God is with us. We're holding fast to His promises that He'll see us through these tough parenting moments.
I know God is creating something beautiful in our family. I know that the end result will be more amazing than anything I can imagine. And I'm grateful.
But, I'll be honest, I'm really looking forward to when God says yes to my prayer for one easy day.